The Adventures of Matthew Turner, A (Definitely Not Gay) Wizard

Happy Holidays, everyone!

I’ve got a new book, with a new style, for the new year!

It’s called The Adventures of Matthew Turner, A (Definitely Not Gay) Wizard: Part I. Gender is Performative.

Check it out here.



Matthew Turner, wizard, is definitely not gay. He’s the handsome athletic Captain of Salem Academy’s broom-racing team, and he likes boobs and stuff. (C’mon, have you seen his lats, bro?) He simply has a predisposition for strong, confident women. If they happen to possess, er, male bits – that’s not really his problem, is it? Dude, like, everyone knows gender is pre-formative anyways.

Judith Butler would be so proud.

A bawdy raunchy tale of your average wizarding gym-bros and their run-ins with lusty, busty, chicks-with-(malebits)!


Entering the Academy’s gym, Matthew took a moment to pose and check himself out in the mirror. Yeah, bum’s looking real nice, he thought, grinning as he rhythmically flexed and relaxed his gorgeous pert ass. That never failed to cheer him up. “Nice lats, bro!” someone from across the weight room shouted. “Thanks, bro!” Matthew hollered back happily. That never failed to cheer him up, either. Beside him, Johnny rolled his eyes.


“You know, if you’re so dead-set on having everyone believe you’re not gay, you probably shouldn’t encourage them.”


“Sure man, I getcha,” Matthew casually remarked, picking up a pair of heavy dumbbells and beginning a set of alternating curls. Damn, his biceps were looking good. Actually, Matthew had no idea what Johnny was talking about; this was his standard answer when confronted with anything he didn’t understand. Matthew knew he wasn’t the brightest wizard in the proverbial cauldron, and found it made life easier if he pretended to agree with the people around him. His buddy Johnny was real smart, what with being the Governor’s son and all. He was always going around saying things like, “the wealth of our society was built on Mage brutality against so-called lesser creatures”, or “no, you need to multiply before you add in your Alchemical tables”, or even, “Matt, the homoeroticism is killing me”. Matthew had learnt early on that nodding his head was the best way to approach such things. Especially if he didn’t want people thinking he was stupid.


Putting down the dumbbells, Matthew turned around to check up on his friend. For whatever reason, Johnny preferred to stay in the Magical Training zones, practicing his dueling skills. That guy really needs to squat more, he thought.


And that was when Matthew saw her.


It’s my own adventure into more absurd, humoristic, slap-schtick smut! (And I’m loving it).


Wishing everyone the very best in 2017 🙂 xxx


3 thoughts on “The Adventures of Matthew Turner, A (Definitely Not Gay) Wizard

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